Being single at 35th is not always easy, as society puts press on you that by this age you should be married and have kids. And if you not there must be something wrong with you! Here is my dating journey and how I feel about being single at 35.
I was very late with being interested in boys, I guess its was because I always been curvy and back in my teens I was very self-conscious. I grew up in Sweden and back in the days being darker skinned was never anything that was seen as attractive. For me I came into my shell when I moved to London. I was in my twenties when I moved and It was like new world! All of a suddenly I was seen as attractive. Guys was stopping me on the street, I got chatted up at clubs etc. This was nothing I was used to at all.
″Being single is not the weakness of being unable to find a relationship. It is the strength of having the patience to wait for the right one″
After 3 weeks I met my then first boyfriend. We stayed together for about 8,5 years. So when I then in my thirties was single again a lot a changed. There was now online dating. I was at first very reluctant to date. It was a very scary thing. I didn’t want to do the online thing straight away. So I went on a speed date event. It was so much fun. I thought it would only be old men there, that couldn’t get girls in clubs. But I was so wrong. There was a good mix of people and I did met someone. We had one date but nothing more. But I was then over my first date in 9 years, so for me that was a big step. I didn’t do much dating in London as I had already in my mind decided that I was gonna move back home. So I didn’t want to met anyone in London.
When I moved back to Sweden I joined a online dating site. I hate first dates, I am awful at dating. I am a very outgoing person but I still hate first dates, they can be so awkward! But I started going on dates and I did met a few guys. For some reason I only met guys in other cities. So that meant travelling to visit them. And when you have chatted and formed a relationship online and on the phone and then meet in reality, it can be very disappointing. This happened to me and I got heartbroken a few times as well.
So after a while I thought I have to start dating guys in my own city. However I tend to find the boys in Stockholm a bit stiff. But I did go on a date and after a few dates we were hanging out a lot. We dated for 6 months but never really got official. He broke up with me and the day after I caught him on Instagram with another girl that he had been with for a while. So he had dated us both. He of course denied it, but pictures says more that words. Needles to say we are not friends today, and If I ever saw him I would ignore him. ( When dating I am glad to live in a big city, so that the chances running into that person is rather slim!)
Ever sense then I have been single, focusing on my career and myself. I am very independent and its important to me to take care of myself. Knowing that I don’t need anyone else to support me. I am going on dates but it never makes if after that. Guys now a days has so many options and if you are not 100% what they thought you would be they don’t give you a second chance. They play the fields. Then when they realise that maybe after all you weren’t that bad they get in contact and expect you to want to met again when they already once told you that they were not interested. It’s all a game to them and that’s not how I do things. In big city’s its pretty much the same everywhere. I hear the same stories being told by my friends in London.
″Don’t confuse being single with being lonely. Being single is a situation, while being lonely is a feeling. You may or may not have control over a situation, but you definitely have control over your feelings. So stop feeling lonely and start enjoying being single″
I have already wasted time in wrong relationships so for me its very important that the guy I meet are someone I really want to spend time with. My standards are very high the older I get. And with standards I don’t mean the way the look. I mean there personality and there way of life. Do we want the same things in life? etc. I am not going to be someone just to change my status. I am happy being single and that’s the truth!
Are you single? How do feel about that? And if not how did you meet your other half?